Swistle is a well-known and well-liked blogger: a Mom and a delightful writer with a quick sense of humor, who recently decided to "come out" as an overweight woman. Previously reluctant to post pictures of herself on her website, she spun together some eloquent, heart-pulling words about self-doubt, steriotypes, and being overweight.
I came across the entry via a series of tweets about fighting on the Internet (cause, God, I love a break from my own gong show to peer at another one) , and read the referenced post and subsequent comments with my heart in my throat. At the end of the 190+ comments, I finally exhaled. The very sincere post turned into a bit of an angry clawing session, with the comments shifting almost immediately from Swistle's well-written confessional post to the fitness path of well known blogger and (and personal inspiration and friend to me) Sundry, of Sundry Mourning.
It morphed and grew warts from there: some commenters on the thread mourned that fitness writing is boring and self-centred, other women complained that thin women do not understand that fat is not a choice. One overexcited commenter told another to "put down the pie plate" and the whole thing got pretty nasty.
This is not the first time I've seen this on the Internet: months ago I wrote a column over at Bodies in Motivation and got slammed by dozens of women for daring to call myself "fatskinny" (since I am thin and do not know what it's like to be fat, etc.) I received dozens of emails from women who said the same thing: fat can be in the genes and I should be sensitive to this. Obviously: I was lucky. I was born with skinny genes.
I call bullshit.
You know the actresses that boast about how they can eat ten hamburgers and endless hot fudge sundaes and remain wee and toned? They're full of crap: at least if they're over the age of 25. And the fat woman who says she works out and eats healthily all the time but her bad genes are to blame for the roll of fat over her jeans? Equal crap.
Yeah, Heidi Kum loses her pregnancy weight in a freakishly short period of time. But I would bet my left arm that she worked ridiculously hard and ate very consciously in order to snap back like that. And for sure: Kate Moss doesn't exercise and she's skinny as hell. But I bet she's not fit. And I'd wager she doesn't spend a lot of time eating, either. Not good.
I'm reluctant to take stands on anything controversial on the Internet because I'd rather take you for a chai latte and an amble through the forest than disagree with you, even quietly but I have to say: on blaming genes for being overweight? Total crap.
Here's what I believe:
1. We're all born with different body shapes, but (barring health issues) there is absolutely no need for any one of us to be hugely overweight.
I had a muffin top and a puffy face when I was drinking too much wine and eating too many Doritos. I have fluctuated from a size 6 to a size 10 in my life and the sole reason I was never a size 20+ is because I have always hiked, ran, snowboarded. I ate too much sometimes, but I've always tried to keep an eye on my caloric intake. I was aware that a caeser salad was not a healthy meal. I may get flack for saying this: but I do not believe you can be very overweight if you are eating balanced, healthy meals and exercising for an hour a day, 6 days a week. Anyone can do this.
My overweight friends and acquaintances all eat more junk food than I do. They exercise less. And though, yeah, genetics may dictate a lot of what you look like when you're born, you have the choice and the power to hone that body the way you want it to look and feel (barring a medical condition, which I acknowledge) Some fit people will be bigger than others because of proportion, height, body type, etc. But if your waistline is bigger than you'd like, it's almost certainly related to the fact that you're taking in more energy than you're putting out.
2. Being very fit is a lot of goddamned work.
No one in her right mind would rather thrash around in ugly tights and a sodden shirt for five miles on a rainy Sunday when they could be sitting in front of a roaring fire, eating mini muffins and watching Inglorious Basterds. If there were no repercussions, god, I'd love to inhale a cheese-infused lasagne and gigantic slab of garlic toast and throw the goddamned cottage cheese and tuna out the window for those bastard cawing crows.
I want to puke every time my arms shake as I'm lowering my arms in a lateral pull. I'd rather have someone insert little balls of hamster poop in my ears than do another goddamned assisted pull up. But I do it because I love feeling lean and strong. Continually pushing myself to my very limit makes me believe I can do anything. The potency of that is incredible.
But this is hard work, mindbendingly so some time. I resent when it's insinuated that this is easy for me because I've never been overweight. It's not.
3. Looks are only a very small part of it.
I've been told more than once in recent months that my relatively recent focus on fitness is unflattering. The insinuation is that I was more interesting when I didn't talk about running, weights, and Jillian Michaels; that I was "deeper" when I wasn't so focused on obtaining the "perfect body."
But god, I know my body will never be perfect. And looking better in a pair of skinny jeans is only a small benefit of this life shift. Being fit helps me see everything more clearly, precisely, sharply.
I do love that I don't feel the need to turn off all the lights before I get into bed with Corey. And yes, it's an immense relief to not have to contort myself into various hunched self-conscious positions in order to make myself less conspicuous at the swimming pool. I am no longer persistently tired, and when I do eat some cheesecake on special occasions, it tastes a thousand times more delicious because it's a novelty - I'm not eating it every day. I can scramble up mountain sides and suddenly I feel like I can do anything. I'm believing more in my own power -- now that I've bettered myself, how can I better contribute to the world around me? What can I do next?
It radiates in a million unexpected ways.
4. It's harder to get started than to stay on target.
Excuses are easy. There's always next week, and right now this caramel fudge looks so delicious, and I'm not feeling it right now and I like saganaki more than squats. There will always be a million exercises for not getting started, but I can vouch for the fact that once you're on the path, once you're committed...it gets so much easier. Workouts become a fibre of daily life, much like morning coffee or brushing your teeth. It's so much easier to stay on track than to get on track. If you do want to do it, the first 30 days are the hardest. It won't ever be easy, because nothing worth anything is, but it will be easier and fully, totally worth it.
5. You do have time. Fit people are no less busy than people who are not.
I hear lack of time and lack of money as the two biggest obstacles to getting in shape. I don't believe either.
You can get up at 5 AM instead of 5:30 to do a workout video and it will cost you next to nothing. Eating healthily requires some planning, but it's no more expensive than subsisting on nachos, white chocolate macadamia nut cookies and and coffee. This I know firsthand. If you take a lot of business trips and have to stay in hotels, there are often free gyms. You can download exercises online. You can run, walk, and hike for next to nothing. If you're not exercising, it's because you haven't mustered the will, and barring an illness, it's most certainly not because you can't.
I think making excuses are easier than staggering through the snow with a raspy heart and a searing side stitch. Eating four brownies and swilling a few Heinekin is a lot easier than planning an egg white omelette that has balanced protein and carbs. But in the end, I believe, the easy way isn't the most satisfying.
Being the strongest, fittest, most capable me involves a lot of grunting, whinging, and sacrificing. And it's totally worth it and you can do it too. Genes don't matter. Your attitude does.
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