I sat with my vegan boss and her friend at a popular vegetarian restauarant. It smelled faintly like lavendar and marijuana and slightly rained-out wood and I scanned through the menu of tofu and miso gravy and all kinds of animal-free sauces. Then I closed it and looked at her and asked her a question I imagined she'd been asked a thousand times before:
"So - what provoked you to give up animal products?"
She explained, intelligently and without any shrapnel of judgment and I listened intently and thought about delicious steak.
I was a pretty unapologetic carnivore, back then: giant prime rib, rare as possible, bbq chicken, bacon. Oh, dear lord, bacon.
But after our conversation, my wheels were spinning. Out of curiousity, I picked up a few books my boss had recommended as integral to her vegan journey. By the end of The Way We Eat: Why Our Food Choices Matter, I'd put seitan at the top of my grocery life and sworn myself a vegan.
The vegan stint lasted about a month before I caved: to cheese, to eggs, to the knowledge that I was a bit of a pain in the ass to dine out with. I was also having a hell of a time finding wearable vegan shoes and so I thought - OK, vegetarian. I won't eat any meat and all my dairy choices will be ethical. And so: I was a vegetarian for the last two + years.
Here's the thing: I chose to stop eating meat because of the appalling business of factory farming, laid out in vivid and often shocking detail in the very carefully crafted The Way We Eat. The animals are abused, the environment is getting totally effed, and the factory farm workers are treated just as poorly as the pathetic animals on the cutting room floor. It sucks, all around.
But I still felt a twinge of unease in the ethics of my vegetarianism: I ate cheese, after all. My consumption of eggs was still contributing to the routine killing of male chickens at birth. Egg laying hens lead an inarguably shitty life. Dairy cows were often treated just as poorly, if not worse than, cows raised for beef -- pumped full of antibiotics, never seeing the light of day -- and eventually slaughtered for fast food meat anyway. I was careful to buy local, but did I really know that local farms were a lot better?
After a few years of vegetarianism, the stark horror of the words in the book I read faded. I started exercising regularly and reading a lot about carbohydrate and protein balancing. My family teased me for avoiding the turkey at Thanksgiving dinner and cooking veggie meals for me and steak for my boys started proving a little tiresome. I started convincing myself that humans are carnivores after all and perhaps I could eat meat ethically. Could I?
I thought about it awhile, halfheartedly, and then, one night in Jamaica this summer (which involved a few Red Stripes and a bit of debauchery), Corey ordered late night room service jerk chicken and it smelled like steamy, tingly, spicy heaven and I repressed all my dirty images of repressed handicapped abused chickens wallowing in their own feces and I went to bed with jerk chicken sauce all over my face.
At this point I'm eating most meat a few times a week -- I will only eat local, organic chicken, beef and turkey and do research on the family farms they come from. I still shy away from pork - I read something about pigs being smarter than dogs and I just can't do it. But that's fine, I'm still testing the boundaries of what I'm OK with in my own (sometimes sketchy, often changing) code of ethics. Corey and I just watched Food Inc. last week and it was shocking to him and a good reminder to me that -- whether you're carnivore, omnivore, vegan, or eater of only Yellow Peeps -- it's good to know where your food is coming from -- and to sprint to the produce aisle if you can at all afford it. Watch it if you can.
I still cook a lot of vegetarian meals, though, Fake Pizza (pineapple + banana peppers + mushrooms + pizza sauce and mozza on low cal tortilla shells) is one of my favorite menu items on the Body for Life diet we're following right now. I'd like to balance carbs and proteins as much as possible because the BFL program seems to be working well for both Corey and I -- but I think I'll be incorporating veggie protein as much as possible.
A return to vegetarianism is not out of the realm of possibility right now - I'm grappling with it.
I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. Are you a vegetarian? What are some of your favorite veggie meals? And if you choose to eat locally or organically, do you have tips to make it more affordable? Sharing is encouraged here, because planet-friendly, cruelty-free nutrition continues to be the biggest challenge for me on this quest to better health.